Way to freak the new girl out

How to freak out the new girl when playing dnd:

A: 'She is wise, and beautiful, and wise. And beautiful.'

Me: 'Um. Okay. He has an illness. I'm sorry about him.'

A: 'Speak more! Your dulcet tones wash over us!' (stares vacantly into my eyes)

DM (grinning like an idiot): 'We have a very good treatment. Hit in head with rock. Here is rock. You can go in tent, if you want.'

Me: 'Yes!' (slightly frantic) 'That sounds good! Kain! Come with me!'

A: 'Oh, touch me again, Iara!'

Me: 'I'm gonna touch you with this rock! Shut up!'

An update on the alien in my throat

For those of you who have been badgering (mushroom! mushroom!) me for information regarding what's happening with my throat, here is the answer:

I have no earthly idea.

After the lovely phone call where someone yelled at me, I waited several weeks to call back. So yesterday, when I did call, I was told that I wasn't on the urgent list but that I was on the normal list (5-12 months instead of 2-3). But that I was also down on their when-someone-
can't-make-it-we-will-phone-you-the-night-before-and-expect-that-you-are-grateful list. When asked when if they would assign me a date in the next 5-12 months, they said no, because I was on the when-someone-can't-make-it list. So they won't give me a date, because another date might open up before my scheduled date.

Riiiiiiight.

I asked when they thought that I might be having surgery. The response?

The beginning of April. So that completely buggers up any and all plans of my mother coming over. Fun for me. I think I might be better stabbing a rusty pen knife in my neck and rooting around until I hit something.

You know how us Catholic girls can be...

I was lying in bed last night trying to fall asleep over the incessent wail of someone's car alarm that wouldn't shut up, when my sleep-adled brain suddenly decided that I needed to mentally recite the Our Father. So I'm going along with this, because really all I want to do is fall asleep, and suddenly I can't remember the next line. And I completely panic. I can't remember whatever the line after 'And lead us not into temptation' is. And I'm completely going to fail my test.

Then I remember that I'm no longer in second grade going to communion classes, and really it doesn't matter if I can recited the whole thing because the only time I go to church now is when I'm visiting my family (and my Mom makes me feel guilty) and I can just pretend anyway. Yet all day today, I've been trying to remember the next line and feeling vaguely bad that I can't.

Catholicism scars, man, it scars.

When I woke up this morning/ you were on my mind...

After a month of feeling to crap to do anything I decided that I was finally better enough to go to the gym. So I woke up this morning at 6:15 when my alarm went off and was totally confused because it was so dark in my flat.

However, there is something about looking outside (alright, about sticking your cheek to the windowpane and leaning back as far as possible to see the tiny sliver of sky that is visible from our basement flat) and realizing that it is going to be a beautiful day. I walked to the gym, and I could, you know, actually see things, and when I left the sun was shining and it was wonderful. All I wanted to do was go for a walk in Regents Park and have a coffee and croissant while reading my book in the sunshine.

I came to work instead, and now it's cloudy and looks like it's going to rain. This should be a lesson to all of you. If it's nice out, don't go to work or the nice-ness will all go away!