An update on the alien in my throat

For those of you who have been badgering (mushroom! mushroom!) me for information regarding what's happening with my throat, here is the answer:

I have no earthly idea.

After the lovely phone call where someone yelled at me, I waited several weeks to call back. So yesterday, when I did call, I was told that I wasn't on the urgent list but that I was on the normal list (5-12 months instead of 2-3). But that I was also down on their when-someone-
can't-make-it-we-will-phone-you-the-night-before-and-expect-that-you-are-grateful list. When asked when if they would assign me a date in the next 5-12 months, they said no, because I was on the when-someone-can't-make-it list. So they won't give me a date, because another date might open up before my scheduled date.

Riiiiiiight.

I asked when they thought that I might be having surgery. The response?

The beginning of April. So that completely buggers up any and all plans of my mother coming over. Fun for me. I think I might be better stabbing a rusty pen knife in my neck and rooting around until I hit something.