A choice

This is disturbing. I’ve been trying to formulate my opinion of both candidates for this year’s presidential election, and by default (I simply can’t support any party that willingly and deliberately tried to get The Shrubbery elected as the leader of my country.) I’ll likely be voting Democrat. If only because I can’t agree with most of the Republican party’s ideas. Well. Probably all of them. But that is disturbing.

Why would we want someone as our leader that calls women names? Someone who is unable to see that abstinence-only policies simply spread disease and up the number of teen pregnancies? That’s consistently voted against policies that would improve health care for women? So, ladies, tell your friends about this. He’s clearly not talking about many of his policies so that women are confused on these issues. For the sake of our health and our family’s health, we need to know.

Random Wednesday

1. "We are having Hot Lesbian Sex. And by 'lesbian sex' we mean tea. But it is still hot." I saw this today, and I laughed so hard my tea almost came out of my nose.

2. At 7.34 exactly this evening, I remembered why taking two weeks off from the gym is a bad idea.

3. I made myself a lovely dinner, with a salad and some stir-fried noodles with veggies. I am watching an Indian cooking show, and now I am starving again.

4. Speaking of that, I really want fried chicken.

5. No, I am definitely not pregnant.

6. I've been formulating a theory about the Hammersmith & City Line. They use it to train new staff during rush hour. There is no other explination for why, on my way home today, it was like being in a car with a teenager learning to drive a stick shift.

7. I have been knitting like mad, but can't put any pictures up because they're all presents. It is also irritating that everyone seems to have their birthdays very close (in my knitting time, anyway) to each other.

Growing up

I remember being about 14 or so, and thinking that being a grown-up would be great; you get to do whatever you like, whenever you like, and you know what's going on and have everything figured out.

I've been wrong about many things, in my brief time here on this planet, but I think that was probably the most wrong I've ever been about anything, ever.

I doubt that I'll ever be able to do whatever I like whenever I'd like to do it, and I'm certain that the likelihood of me knowing what's going on and having everything all figured out is about the same as little green men showing up on Mars with signs that say 'Hi! What took you so long?'. And if that's the case, how can I be 'grown up'?

Right now, I think it happens in stages. I think that at certain points in your life, something happens and it changes the way you think about yourself, or the world around you. It's something so profound, a very change in the fabric of your reality and you think that the world should just stop to take a breath, in and out, before it settles with a jarring thud back into place. A little different than it was before. A little more tarnished, and little more resigned to the fact that things aren't the way you really, honestly, believed they were. Or should have been.

At the heart of it all, I think that what we call growing up is about sadness. Accepting that something will never be, or that you can't do something, or change an event - and then learning to live with that. It's almost never easy, and for many people it takes years and years and years of fighting against the truth that they desperately want to avoid. But we all grow up. And I don't think that we ever stop growing.

So that's the reason for the long silence. I've been growing up. Being forced to shift my reality slightly, and dealing with the metallic shriek that it it scraping out of its previous position. I'm sure that eventually, I'll get used to the new reality. At the moment though, the sharp edges are digging into me a bit too hard.