"It's been a long December, and there's reason to believe that maybe this year will be better than the last..."

I swear this will be the only time that I ever do this.

"A long December and there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can't remember the last thing you said as you were leaving
Now the days go by so fast.

And it's one more day up in the canyon
And it's one more night in Hollywood
If you think that I could be forgiven
I wish you would.

The smell of hospitals in winter
And the feeling that it's all alot of oysters, but no pearls
All at once you look across a crowded room
And see the way the light attaches to a girl.

And it's one more day up in the canyon
And it's one more night in Hollywood
If you think that you might come to California
I think you should.

Drove up to Hillside Manor sometime after two a.m.
And talked a little while about the year
I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower,
Make you talk a little lower about the things you could not show her.

And it's been a long December and there's reason to believe
That this year will be better than the last
And I can't remember all the times I've tried to tell myself
To hold on to these moments as they pass.

And it's one more day up in the canyon
And it's one more night in Hollywood
It's been so long since I've seen the ocean,
I think I should."
- Long December, by Counting Crows

This came out my freshman year of high school, and has basically summed up every New Year's since. Last year, while visiting home for Christmas, I discovered another really excellent one called The New Year by Death Cab for Cutie, a truly amazing band. I've never really understood how everyone can get so excited about time passing. After all, most peoples years were probably much like mine - they didn't accomplish anything of note and looking back, feel like they've wasted so very very much. Maybe I just think too much, and I'm one of the few to look at it like that.

But really, what have I done this year? I finished university, and got my degree, but really that's not as much as an accomplishment as I wanted it to be because even though I finished it, I know that if every single shit thing that went wrong over the last three years hadn't happened, I would have done a hell of a lot better. I went from one crap retail job to another crap retail job, which I have now quit for a slightly less crap Customer Service position where, for the first time in twelve months, I might possibly make enough to pay my bills. I am dating an amazing, wonderful man whom I will most probably marry, which is the one Good Thing right now. So. One good thing. In an attempt to be optimistic, I guess every one needs to start with something.

Happy New Year everyone.

xxx

Listening to Stevie Nicks is enough to get anyone down

My best friend got in engage not too long ago, and not-so-strangely it's making me think. I'm so happy for her, the bloke is one of the most quality people I have ever met and is definately good enough for her (well, in my book anyway), and I already know that I will, at some point and probably the worst one, end up crying because she deserves to be happy more than anyone that I know.

However, if she is old enough to get married, then that means so am I. My mother is even beginning to hint, not-so-subtly, about when she may be expected to see a ring on my finger. This terrifies me. I still feel like I'm 17, and tomorrow I might call in sick to work so I can go sit in Borders and read all day. ::sigh:: They really should have told you that growing up kinda sucks when you were younger. That way, you could snort pixie stixs until your brain melted and you'd never know the difference.

Perhaps there is something to this karma thing after all...

In a wonderful bit of news, the shopping complex where I whore my retail-ass to The Major Clothing Company has been shut down. This cracks me up. It's bad because now they're farming us out to other stores, such as Southampton - 40 minutes (at least, and only when there are not leaves on the track) away. But it's good because on Thursday, and today, I basically got my wage to sit at home reading Robert Jordan books and playing Civ. One fantastic thing about British labour laws, besides getting holiday-pay, is that because it's not my fault the company has to pay me my contracted hours. It does mean that the interview I have for a much better job on Wednesday has taken on more importance, since I'm not contracted for the forty hours a week I've been working, but hey, sitting at home whilst reading and getting paid for it is a dream come true.

T. came to visit this weekend, and that rocked. If there was one person that I could have taken with me when I left Cardiff, he's it and it was really great to see him again. There aren't many people that I can talk to without feeling like I'm desperately trying to make conversation, but he's one of them. Here's a lovely picture of T. and M. at the beach on a stormy day. M.'s the one pretending that he's Eeyore, and that it's only raining on him!