Friday, June 20, 2008


Dear Victoria Line,

What the fuck was up with you last night? Seriously, we’re going to have to begin re-evaluating our relationship if this is the way you continue to behave.

I’ve been understanding since February, when we started seeing each other on a regular basis. I’ve understood your need for upgrades, and have backed off and found other lines to take on those weekends that you just needed time for yourself. I’ve wrapped my head around your early nights from Monday to Thursday, because you’ve been feeling a little bit off lately. I even know that you’ve been seeing other people on those nights and weekends that we’re not together, and I’m not upset. I know that you just need something that I can’t give you.

But yesterday, not only was there a signal failure in the morning but then, then you had a broken rail during the evening rush hour. A signalling failure is no ones fault, it happens to all the other lines too, but a broken rail? What have you been doing all this time, with your evenings and weekends? I thought we agreed to this break so that you could sort out your problems, and come back to me more put together and dependable? I ended up on that tourist-loving Piccadilly Line, man-whore that it is, smashed into the armpit of someone that desperately needed a bath and trying not to gag. Is that really how you want to end things between us?

I’m sorry to say this to you, but if this behaviour continues… I don’t know what I’m going to do. Please, for the sake of both of us, get your act together.

More than a bit tired of it,



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